Open Letter

Dear Supermarket Cashier Lady,

I comprehend that you’re working a minimum wage job, probably to support your family, and that’s perfectly okay. I just want to explain something to you.
You see, the reason that I brought the bag of chips to you was to purchase it and eat it later on. Also, you may have noticed the cans of soup and corn that I also brought. I’m just going to assume that at some point in your life you have eaten chips and perhaps you know how much it sucks to eat or dip a chip once it has been crushed.
But by looking at your way of bagging my groceries, I have a simple question for you: What in the world would make you think it is a good idea to put a bag of chips in the same plastic bag as four metal cans of soup and two cans of corn? I don’t want to sound rude but, I would like to know why you thought these items belonged together in the same bag. It doesn’t make any sense!
In the future please do not place chips in bags with heavy objects, that way I can still enjoy my chips. Actually, let me just give you an extra tip: also keep eggs, bread, or fruits out of bags with heavy objects. I don’t care if you use five bags instead of four.

I hope you understand.

The Chief Pompomist