Plain Bagel and Cream Cheese

Last Saturday I woke up at around 4a to get a flight from Chicago to Miami. I show up with plenty of time to the airport… looking like a zombie. I check my luggage, pass by security zone and finally head to my designated concourse about an hour before the flight. So I decided to stop by a cafeteria to buy myself some breakfast.

So here's the scenario... There are three people behind the counter: a girl barista, a cook and a lady cashier. I was too damn sleepy to look at the menu above, but knew exactly what I wanted for breakfast. So I approach the cashier to order.

Me: 'Good morning. I would like to have a hot chocolate and a bagel with cream cheese please?'
Lady cashier: 'A... bagel with cream cheese??' – She said looking at me like I was ordering lasagna at 6am.
Me: 'Yes, please.'

She continued staring at me like I was an alien who just landed on earth.

Lady cashier: 'OK? What kind of bagel?'
Me: 'Plain.'
Lady cashier: 'Plllain?.... O-k? What flavor?'
Me: 'Pardon me?'
Lady cashier: 'What flavor of cream cheese, ma’am?!' – She repeated loosing her patience and staring at me.
Me: 'Oh! Just plain cream cheese, please….'
Lady cashier: 'Plain?!......'

[A few seconds of silence plus a stare]

Lady cashier: '….o…k? Hey chef!!! The lady here wants a PLAIN bagel with PLAIN cream cheese... and a hot chocolate.'
Cook: 'A bagel with cheese?! What the...?' – He said looking at me strange. He then proceeded with the ‘elaborate preparation’ of my meal and finished up the plate with a little pack of grape jelly.
Cook: 'Here it is ma’am.'
Me: 'Thank you. Oh! It’s okay… you can keep the jelly.'
Cook: 'You…uh... don’t want the jelly?!' – He said taking strange offense when I didn’t want jelly with my breakfast.

Apparently, he adds jelly to every breakfast, and if you say no (as I often do because that kind of jelly is the cheap, chewy and compressed kind) he gets very confused and stares in disbelief… like I just turned down a free (no strings attached) winning lottery ticket.

Me: 'Thank you.' – I said after he removed the jelly from my plate... Now THERE is a man who has a passion for his job, or at least a passion for cheap, mass produced jelly packs.

I go back to the cashier for checkout.

Cashier lady: ‘Ok! That’ll be 12 dollars.’
Me: ‘Twelve dollars!’ – That number really woke me up like I just took a big dose of caffeine.
Cashier lady: 'Yes, ma’am!'

OK, so here’s the breakdown: $5.50 for hot chocolate, $4 for a plain bagel and $2.50 for enough cream cheese to spread on it.

Now, I know that airports are expensive, but come on! And what’s so strange about ordering a plain bagel with plain cream cheese?!