Simply Tacos

So, yesterday night I didn’t feel like cooking and decided to drive to the nearest Taco Bell. When I got to the drive thru, I encountered a car line-up so long, it was actually better to just go inside the franchise to place my order.

After waiting for 12 minutes inside the store, I began bad-mouthing Taco Bell and the city of San Bernardino, CA. Ten more minutes passed, until I finally got to order (hurray). All of a sudden, a girl came up to the counter looking for some sauce. So she rudely decided to interrupt my order. One of the Taco Bell dudes ran up to the counter to become her prince charming and rescue her. Then she yelled:

"Hey, BRO!.... YO! Where da sauces at?!"

Ok. This demonstration of bravery and ghetto knowledge made the sauces to miraculously appear. I mean… they were like fabricated and packed right there for her. WTF?!
Now I would like to ask a question to all the men who read this blog: Is this what I have to do to attract men? Walk into a place and talk with a ghetto savvy language? Because if it is, I'm prepared to move to da hood!… forget about that nice, quiet, respectable neighborhood I was considering on moving!

After this um… learning experience, I finally ordered a very, VERY simple meal. Alright, let's see if you readers can understand this: I would like two chicken hard tacos. Did you understand that? If you did, congratulations! You must be a heck of a genius. Now read what happened when I placed my order at Taco Bell:

Taco Bell guy: “Good evening! May I take your order?”
Me: "I'd like two chicken hard tacos, please.”
Taco Bell guy: "What kind of chalupa would you like with your combo?"
Me: "No, I didn’t ask for the combo. Just two chicken hard tacos"
Taco Bell guy: "Ok. What type of drink, ma’am?"
Me: "I repeat. Not the combo… just the hard tacos"
Taco Bell guy: "Oh! So You DON'T want the combo?"

I wish you could’ve seen his face when he said that! His reactions was something like, “OMG! Lady Diana died?!” or maybe, “Britney Spears is pregnant again?!” Sort of like that.

Me: “Uh, just the taacooos, please.”
Taco Bell guy: “Okaaay, but you said combo earlier....."
Me: “No I didn’t but just in case you heard wrong, here it goes again: NO COMBO, JUST TAACOS…”

I mean… has anyone in the life of Taco Bell ever ordered just two plain chicken tacos? What the heck!... Oh! And it doesn’t end right there!:

Taco Bell guy: “Oh! I got it! And how would you like to pay for this?”
Me: “I'd like to pay with debit, please."
Taco Bell guy: "Huh?"
Me: “I said debit… debit”
Taco Bell guy: “Debit?”
Me: “Yessss, debit.”
Taco Bell guy: "We don't take debit."

This really deserves a punch in the face to this guy and the entire franchise (including its secret recipe). I ended up going home and eating Special K with milk for dinner.